Weekly Humorist Magazine: Issue 252

CONTENTS
Issue 252

Eloise is STILL at The Plaza
by CAROLINE BEULEY
I am Eloise. I am twenty-nine. I am an adult (ish). I STILL live at The Plaza. I know it’s not as cool to live in Midtown anymore. But my mom refuses to buy me a loft in DUMBO. Which is RAWTHER frustrating! So here I am living amongst tourists, tourists, tourists!

PSA from an Internet Troll
by NOEL LEON
“Internet trolls” need better PR. Our slogan should be something like: Providing A Pro-Bono Reality Check One Comment at a Time! Because, contrary to popular opinion, we don’t muck up the internet. We nudge people to their senses.

The Finalists for Mindfulness Magician of the Year!
by KIT LIVELY
The Great Laverne / Real Name: Etherea Sparkle / Signature Illusion: Escaping a toxic relationship.

After Years Of Tireless Service And Dedication, I, Your Metabolism, Have Decided To Quietly Quit
by JASON GARRAMONE
Bid farewell to your favorite snack foods. Hungry? Satiate yourself with six almonds and a stick of celery. Welcome to flavor country, partner.

Totally Straight High School News Your Administration Will Approve Of
by BOBBIE ARMSTRONG
Homecoming Court Includes No Students With Hair Dyed Purple, Choir To Put on Concert Consisting of Dave Matthews Band Discography, English Department Announces Pronouns No Longer Allowed in Student Writing, and more!

#ScreamingStreamingShows
by WEEKLY HUMORIST HASHTAG GAMES
Game of Groans, Saved By The Yell, Freaks and Shrieks, and more #ScreamingStreamingShows on this week's trending joke game!

Cartoons by
Pardis Parker & Aria Ghalili, Frega DiPerri, Cerise Zelenetz