Weekly Humorist Magazine: Issue 206
Your Guide To Being A Spookily Great HalloWingman: Tips On Helping Your Buddy Get The Most, Best Candy While Trick Or Treating
by KIT LIVELY
It's a mistake to appear too eager! Have your friend play it cool and hang back from the crowd a bit. The person handing out treats will be intrigued by the indifference, and your friend may end up with a couple of extra fun-size Twix bars in his bag.
Little-Known Backstories of Misunderstood Halloween Candies
by JULIE VICK and MARISSA MACIEL
A great treat for kids who are too young to smoke, but still want to look cool. The candy cigarette paved the way for the invention of candy chewing tobacco, and candy nicotine patches. These are hard to find nowadays - tobacco companies want kids to vape, anyway!
I’m Michael Myers from Halloween and I Just Want to Talk About Your Car’s Extended Warranty
by SUE GELBER
You can shoot me in the chest, gouge my eyes out, stab me with a knife, impale me with a knitting needle, burn me alive, hit me with a truck, throw me down a mine shaft and blast me with dynamite, electrocute me, trap me in a room full of gas and light a match, throw me off a roof, and behead me with an ax, but nothing will stop me from coming back again and trying to sell you this warranty.
Upcoming Episodes on Season 2 of The Goop Lab
by VINCE LICATA
Episode 2: "Hair's to Ya". Covers armpit hair, leg hair, arm hair, eyebrows, back hair, butt hair, ear hair, nose hair, and vaginal steaming. Special guest: a man who has dressed as a Wookiee for the entirety of his adult life, so far.
How to Trick the Unvaccinated into Getting the COVID Vaccine, According to Six Children’s Party Magicians
by ANDY SPAIN
Spin the box around three times and open it to show he’s gone. He’ll wake up in a clinic waiting room with a 3pm vaccination appointment. Voilà!
by WEEKLY HUMORIST HASHTAG GAMES
A-Tisket, A-Casket, Hansel and Regrettle, Scar light, Scar Bright, and more #NightmarishNurseryRhymes on this week's trending joke game!
David Gomberg, Vaughan Tomlinson, Tyson Cole