Weekly Humorist Magazine: Issue 215

CONTENTS
Issue 215

The Collective Bargaining Agreement Of Santa’s Reindeer
by AJ DICOSIMO
Section 8. Removal For Just Cause: Eating the presents, Eating an Elf, Any attempt to disguise oneself as Mrs. Claus and blackmailing Santa with provocative polaroids.

Santa’s Most Surprisingly Requested Gifts
by KIT LIVELY
This Is Not A Vibrator! Personal Massager: Comes packaged in a container with “This Is Not A Vibrator!” printed in bold type to let the others celebrating the holiday with you know that, in no uncertain terms, this personal massager is definitely not going to be used as a mechanical penis.

Introducing The North Pole Podcast Network
by ADAM DIETZ and TROY DOETCH
The Ben Shapiro & Grinch Show: Are you tired of all of Cindy Lou Who’s liberal propaganda? Is the Whoville lame-stream media trying to force its socialist ideas down your throat? Sick of Mayor Augustus May Who and the other sheeple in power telling you how to run your herd?

12 Festive Ways To Fire A Whole Bunch Of Employees Right Before Christmas
by ROCHELLE ELANA FISHER
Hold an office Christmas tree lighting ceremony. Ask select personnel to hang their now-deactivated key cards as ornaments.

Cautionary Christmas Tale From Harry Ellis: Cocaine And Terrorists Don’t Mix
by JASON GARRAMONE
When I learned that Holly’s deadbeat husband, John McClane, was running around the building pretending to be Rambo, I knew I had to step in and broker a deal with the Euro trash who were holding us hostage.

#HorrorAHolidayFood
by WEEKLY HUMORIST HASHTAG GAMES
Ghoul Log, The Hills Have Pies, The Last Gingerbread House On The Left, and more #HorrorAHolidayFood on this week's trending joke game!

Cartoons by
Peter Kuper, Bob Eckstein, Dan Misdea.