Weekly Humorist Magazine: Issue 219

CONTENTS
Issue 219


Welcome to the Manchin-Sinema Diner. I’m Todd, and I’ll Be Your Stonewaller This Evening
by JUSTIN WARNER
See, the owners, Joe and Kyrsten, have a real vision for this place. They want it to appear to be a fully functioning restaurant, and bring in as many desperate customers as possible.

An Update on the Oompa Loompa Unionizing Efforts
by JENNIE EGERDIE
Workers are reporting intimidation tactics, including supervisors’ scream-rhyming performance reviews in the dark tunnel full of strange kaleidoscopic imagery. Stay strong, orange brethren!

Most Common FAQ for Wummies Weed Gummies
by KIT LIVELY
"Is it advisable to take a gummy before going out to have dinner with friends? And are they really my friends? Why are they all looking at me like that? And why is the waiter trying to read my mind?"

We Are Here To Inform You That Our Queen Cover Band Only Plays ‘Crazy Little Thing Called Love’
by BRYAN BRUNATI
When you come to view us we hope that you will respect that for 80 mins you will only hear various versions of the 1979 hit, and we would appreciate it if you don’t yell out other song requests.

Six Snowmen Who Will Melt Your Heart and Then Themselves
by GWEN COBURN and MARISSA MACIEL
This chill contrarian’s style is quirky and unique: he’s upended the concept of hats by wearing a vintage tea kettle! The yard-sale camera tells you he’s not just a snowman, he’s a snow artist– also he might do an occasional line of powder.

#MoldyMusicals
by WEEKLY HUMORIST HASHTAG GAMES
The King and Fungi, Oklahumid!, Sweaty Jersey Boys, and more #MoldyMusicals on this weeks trending joke game!

Cartoons by
Peter Kuper, Mat Barton & Adam Cooper, Vaughan Tomlinson