Weekly Humorist Magazine: Issue 222
Thank You for Inviting Me to Your Super Bowl Party, But Why is This Nothing Like Friday Night Lights?
by REBECCA TURKEWITZ
And did that fumble happen because the player is troubled by his girlfriend’s recent betrayal? Or because his ego is out of control and he’s been lazy at practice? Until I know his underlying emotional journey, I’m struggling to give a damn, honestly.
The CEO of Frontier Airlines Addresses FAQ’s On The New Merger
by CARRIE PINKARD
After hours of deliberation and brainstorming to find the best way to combine our two great names, we’ve decided on Front-tit.
Our Valentine’s Day Prix Fixe Menu Does NOT Allow for Substitutions, Because YOU MADE A COMMITMENT TO IT
by GWEN COBURN and MIRIAM JAYARATNA
Root Vegetable Salad: Artichoke hearts, hearts of palm, and heart-shaped beet carpaccio. You promised to eat this salad when you made the reservation
Situations When Breakfast Cereals Other than Life Flash Before Your Eyes
by WILLIAM VAILLANCOURT
Total — You’ve taken your girlfriend shopping, and after she’s brought everything up to the register, you see the amount you’ll be paying
Other Catchphrases John Wilkes Booth Considered Before “Sic Semper Tyrannis!”
by ARIE KAPLAN
“You can’t HANDLE the Booth!” “To Confederacy…and beyond!" “All lives matter.”
You’re Leaving The Playground All Wrong
by KATE CHRISMAN
Wait, why is your toddler yelling that you’re a stranger who’s trying to lure her out of the playground with candy? Did you hear that - your daughter used the word “lure.” She has a GREAT vocabulary.
Play FRUGLE! The New Word Game That Will Never Go Up Behind A Paywall
by ELIZABETH SIMONE
Call a friend and ask them to think of a five letter word but not tell you what it is. Guess the word.
by WEEKLY HUMORIST HASHTAG GAMES
Dreaded Wheat, CrankyBerry, Peanut Bitter Crunch, and more #SurlyCereals on this week's trending joke game!
Ivan Ehlers, Drew Panckeri, David Ostow