Weekly Humorist Magazine: Issue 242
An Open Letter On Climate Change From Me, A Mobster…
by CRAIG THOMAS
".. bag over the guy’s head, encase his feet in cement and take him out to Lake Mead. Guy, starts to sink. Then. Stops. Sinking. Turns out, due to Climate Change- the water level now only comes up to this genius’s arm-pits."
QaDon’s- American Bistro For American’s Who Don’t Like America
by KIT LIVELY
"Spend Your Independence Day Exerting Your Independence From American Values and Basic Human Decency With Our Special Fourth Of July Menu!!!" "Each of our meals is served on a paper replica of the Constitution, perfect for soaking up all of the gooey grease and spills!"
I’m Susan Collins and, By Golly, I’ve Been Duped Again!
by MADELINE GOETZ and JACK SENTELL
Well, call me a lobster, wrap my lobster claws in rubber bands, throw me in the lobster tank at Kroger, and tell me I’m not gonna be sold as a lobster dinner…I’ve been lied to again! Justice Kavanaugh, who specifically told me he wouldn’t overturn Roe v. Wade, just voted to overturn Roe v. Wade.
Brainstorm For Dolly Parton’s Google Doodle
by ROBERT CRISS
The word Google but the two o’s are an image of Dolly holding her two massive, natural, milky white dinner plates. The doodle would be a callback to her former life as a waitress at Dobb’s House Restaurant before she got her big break in the music industry.
Poll: Nobody Wants to Hear About Your Dumb Dream
by LAURA BERLINSKY-SCHINE
We’ve talked to Lindsay maybe 10 times about how she can’t use company devices to email people about her dreams. She doesn’t even work here anymore!
by WEEKLY HUMORIST HASHTAG GAMES
Jon Hammer, Screw Barrymore, Nail Young, and more #CelebATool on this week's trending joke game!
Drew Panckeri, Lance Risseeuw, Shelby Parker