Weekly Humorist Magazine: Issue 271

CONTENTS
Issue 271

An Apology From the Food Network for Mistaking ”Beat Bobby Flay” as ”Eat Bobby Flay”
by BOBBIE ARMSTRONG
However, “exploring the rich culinary world” does not include hunting down our own hosts. We truly cannot believe this happened a second time.

Dog Training for Cowards
by MADELINE GOETZ and MCKAYLEY GOURLEY
Ask your dog nicely to sit. If he doesn’t do it, nervously look around to see if anyone noticed him disobeying you. If there’s no one around, pretend you never actually asked him to sit. You will learn to gaslight yourself like this.

Lesser Known TV Content Warnings
by KIT LIVELY
Mild drug use, bloody scenes of horror, graphic language, rapping vampires. And more!

A Guide to Pregaming in Your 40s
by VIKTORIA SHULEVICH
EVENT: A concert that starts at 10 pm for no good reason PREGAMING: Crashing on the couch for a 20-minute snooze then inserting Dr. Scholl's insoles into your sensible boots

Honest Preschool Descriptions
by KATE CHRISMAN
We charge to put you on a pretend wait list. Our vacation schedule will never overlap with the local elementary school - that’s a promise. Your kid will get lice.

#PervertedPasta
by WEEKLY HUMORIST HASHTAG GAMES
Beef Strokin' Off, Macaronly Fans, Hard-onara, and more #PervertedPasta on this week's trending joke game!

Cartoons by
Bob Eckstein, Drew Panckeri, Cerise Zelenetz.