Weekly Humorist Magazine: Issue 289

CONTENTS
Issue 289

My Sleep Rider: Contractual Requirements for Sleeping at a Friend’s House After Age 35
by TOM ELLISON and CAITLIN KUNKEL
The Host commits to ameliorating any excess noise, including, but not limited to: household snoring, street noise from the nearby fire station, pet snuffles, and whatever that creaking pipe and/or Victorian ghost situation was last time.

Billboard’s Greatest Hits Rewritten By AI
by KELLEY GREENE
R-E-S-P-GPT, Prompt Me Baby One More Time, Bye Bye Bye-nary. And more!

We Are Denying You Admittance To This University Because Your Senior Prank Was So Lame
by ADAM DIETZ
We just can’t figure out why you thought that these small time and half-assed attempts at teenage rebellion were going to get the job done?

Truly Terrible Congressional Cost Cutting Measuress
by KIT LIVELY
Less expensive prostitutes for out-of- town conferences. Congress looking into ways of potentially harvesting the energy created by massive book burnings. And more!

Here’s Looking at You, Chat as transcribed by Michael “Micky” Shaw
by MICHAEL SHAW
Well, I’ve done a lot of thinking too, it adds up to one thing. You’re going to go back to where you came from.

#EroticRockBands
by WEEKLY HUMORIST HASHTAG GAMES
ZZ Topless, Crosby, Stills, Nash and Tongue, Twister Fister, and more #EroticRockBands on this week's trending joke game!

Cartoons by
Peter Kleinman, Vaughan Tomlinson, Rachelle Meyer.