Weekly Humorist Magazine: Issue 295

CONTENTS
Issue 295

Gambling Problem? Visit Our Casino!
by JONATHAN ZELLER
Let’s say your friend Frank has a particularly bad hankering to gamble; you can pledge $100 in support of his recovery, voicing your confidence that he can abstain from betting. If Frank makes it six months without placing a bet, your $100 contribution will net you a $1,000 “thank you” payment

The Rise and Fall of My Cat, Former Zoom Celebrity: An Oral History
by REBECCA TURKEWITZ
Dr. Erica Nuñez (pet psychologist): It can be stressful when the power imbalance in the home shifts so dramatically, when suddenly the pet is outshining the owner.

Ridiculous Questions I Have About the New Social Media App Threads
by KIT LIVELY, PAUL LANDER, BOB ECKSTEIN, and ANDY NEWTON
Is this FINALLY a home for my hilarious cat videos? Will it be as butt-centric as Instagram? (Can it be?) And more!

Delivery Notifications Ahead of the Teamsters Strike
by JUSTIN AVERY SMITH
Your package finally arrived at the sorting facility Justin, a third-generation Teamster, is now sorting your package, but he only gets a five-minute break once every four hours, so he might “make a mistake”.

Joey Chestnut’s Yelp Review of Nathan’s Famous, Coney Island, July 5
by DREW DERNAVICH
Normally, I dip my hot dogs into a big bucket of water so that the buns are thoroughly soaked when I eat them. Today, no buckets. I had to buy a bottle of water. A guy saw me pouring my water out all over my second hot dog and he said “there’s mustard over there, you know.”

#RuinAnIceCream
by WEEKLY HUMORIST HASHTAG GAMES
Thumb Raisin, Salted Camel, Rocky Toad, and more #RuinAnIceCream on this week's trending joke game!

Cartoons by
Thomas Wykes, Dan Misdea, Ali Solomon