Weekly Humorist Magazine: Issue 306
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CONTENTS
Issue 306
Baby Babble Translations for New Moms
by PHILIP WITTE
jah-cho-cho-cho = Look what I found in the cat litter box. yai-yai pokka da = Where’s your good sweater? Hurry, I have to puke. catzakup poodo = Soon enough I won’t need you, except to drive me places. And more!
Colonoscopy Prep Playlist for Generation X (Kind of in Order, at Least Based on My Colon’s Behavior)
by JOSH LORENZO
'Everybody Hurts' - REM, 'Drain you' - Nirvana, 'Deep Inside of You' - Third Eye Blind, and more!
Elon Musk’s Proposed Fee Schedule for X (formerly Twitter)
by DAN FIORELLA
Per Post- .001, Per Re-post- .002, Per Musk Re-Post- free, and more!
Care And Maintenance Of Your Possessed Ventriloquist Puppet
by KIT LIVELY
Your puppet may be possessed by a vicious demon, or simply by a pleasant dead person who loves hanging out on the couch and binge-watching 'Blossom'. Don't be presumptuous, ask a few questions and find out!
Stephen King’s Past Birthday Wishes
by JOE SCHIAPPA
Waterstarter? The blinking cursor is now a blinking thumbs-up. A jet Ski. Wait, no…a possessed jet ski. And more!
#DismalDisneyMovies
by WEEKLY HUMORIST HASHTAG GAMES
The Lady and the Tramp Stamp, Herpes: The Love Bug, Malice in Wonderland, and more #DismalDisneyMovies on this week's trending hashtag game!
Cartoons by
Rachelle Meyer, Drew Panckeri, Chris Gural.
Issue 306
Baby Babble Translations for New Moms
by PHILIP WITTE
jah-cho-cho-cho = Look what I found in the cat litter box. yai-yai pokka da = Where’s your good sweater? Hurry, I have to puke. catzakup poodo = Soon enough I won’t need you, except to drive me places. And more!
Colonoscopy Prep Playlist for Generation X (Kind of in Order, at Least Based on My Colon’s Behavior)
by JOSH LORENZO
'Everybody Hurts' - REM, 'Drain you' - Nirvana, 'Deep Inside of You' - Third Eye Blind, and more!
Elon Musk’s Proposed Fee Schedule for X (formerly Twitter)
by DAN FIORELLA
Per Post- .001, Per Re-post- .002, Per Musk Re-Post- free, and more!
Care And Maintenance Of Your Possessed Ventriloquist Puppet
by KIT LIVELY
Your puppet may be possessed by a vicious demon, or simply by a pleasant dead person who loves hanging out on the couch and binge-watching 'Blossom'. Don't be presumptuous, ask a few questions and find out!
Stephen King’s Past Birthday Wishes
by JOE SCHIAPPA
Waterstarter? The blinking cursor is now a blinking thumbs-up. A jet Ski. Wait, no…a possessed jet ski. And more!
#DismalDisneyMovies
by WEEKLY HUMORIST HASHTAG GAMES
The Lady and the Tramp Stamp, Herpes: The Love Bug, Malice in Wonderland, and more #DismalDisneyMovies on this week's trending hashtag game!
Cartoons by
Rachelle Meyer, Drew Panckeri, Chris Gural.