Weekly Humorist Magazine: Issue 356

CONTENTS
Issue 356

Highly Probable First Words of Anxious Babies Immediately After Leaving the Womb       
by Bobbie Armstrong
“Does this afterbirth make me look fat?” 

Dr. Kit’s Nuggets Of Wisdom (now with choice of dipping sauce)   
by Kit Lively
The journey of a thousand miles begins with faking your own death and hiding from your family. 

I, A High-Profile Democrat, Would Very Much Like It If You Allowed Me to Be Clear
by William Vaillancourt
Without your approval to be clear, my lack of clarity would require immediate clarification—something I would clearly be unable to provide. You see? The whole thing would be unclear. Is that clear?            

Benjamin Franklin Lives at Your Local TGI Fridays
by James Kriz
You’re pounding down tater skins. Bubblin’ bacon bits going down easy as you watch b-ball on the big screen. It’s TGI Fridays, baby, and 2 pm is tater-skins-o-clock, but you ain’t buying this round, cuz Benjamin Franklin’s got his purse out and he’s slanging those doubloons. 

Crazy Larry’s Etsy Shop of Handcrafted Tinfoil Hats
by Mike Calahan
This shop is dedicated to helping regular folks who realize that the war isn’t coming, brother. The war is already here. So, grab your tinfoil and suit up. Semper Foil

#PsychoSitcoms
by WEEKLY HUMORIST HASHTAG GAMES
I Scream of Jeannie, Buried with Children, Happy Slays, and more #PsychoSitcoms on this week's trending joke game!

Cartoons by
Harley Schwadron, Peter Kuper, Amanda Chung and Vin Coca, Sara Lautman.