Weekly Humorist Magazine: Issue 358

CONTENTS
Issue 358

Recent Posts from the Local Ring Neighborhood App       
by Dan Fiorella
Thursday 3:33 pm: I keep seeing people post night footage of strangers checking to see if car doors are open.  Why doesn’t anyone try the doors on my ’95 Chevrolet Cavalier?  I’ve even left the keys in it.  

Letting You Know That a Porn Account Is Impersonating You and That I Did NOT Pay It $183 for Feet Pic   
by Peter Clark-Deutsch
Honestly, so not cool of this person to use your images without your consent. Even worse for them to promise me a great deal on 10 pairs of stinky worn socks if I gave them my full legal name, home address, credit card info, and social security number. I mean, who’s so desperately horny to fall for that one? 

Diddy Lyrics That, In Hindsight, Revealed What Combs Was Up To
by Kit Lively
“Hey, thanks for being a fan! Now please get into the van. Enjoy a blunt I just rolled, And I’ll apply this lil blindfold.”            

“I Thought It Would Be Easier for You to Drop Everything and Cater to My Needs” – An Impromptu, Unnecessary Desk-Side Check-in With Your Co-worker
by Corey Pajka
Let’s go over it now while I hover on the wall of your cubicle like a carrion bird with eyes trained on its next meal. Sound good? No? Super! 

#FoulFallCoffeeDrinks
by WEEKLY HUMORIST HASHTAG GAMES
Hot toady, Scarbucks, Capoopuccino, and more #FoulFallCoffeeDrinks on this week's trending joke game!

Cartoons by
Jonathan Rosen, Lars Kenseth, Michael Shaw, Brian Hawes and Seth Roberts.