Weekly Humorist Magazine: Issue 369

CONTENTS
Issue 369

Letters From The Frontlines Of The War On Christmas        
by Julien Perez
Sweetheart, Went to a Target tonight. I was horrified to learn the nutcrackers have turned gay. Why must these Secularists sexualize everything? Put your nuts in its mouth like the rest of us and enjoy the birth of our Lord. Merry Christmas, Jim  

Rejected Sequels To “The Nightmare Before Christmas”   
by Caleb Coy
The Cupid’s Arrow on Cinco De Mayo, The Fasting Before Arbor Day, The Egg Hunt On My Birthday, and more! 

I’ve Decided to Replace the Guinea Pig With a Larger, Slightly More Calculated Guinea Pig
by Bobbie Armstrong
In the wake of these alleged scandals, I may be forced to do the unthinkable: Replace this guinea pig with a slightly larger, more calculated guinea pig. From a different Petco, of course. 

New Holiday Travel Road Games
by Kit Lively
Mad Libtards: While stopping for dinner at a Cracker Barrel in the middle of nowhere (there was literally no other place within 50 miles, sue me), how many times and in different ways do the locals use the word “libtard” to describe basic acts of human decency?  

#DisgustingDecorations
by WEEKLY HUMORIST HASHTAG GAMES
Mistletoe Jam, 2 Turd Doves, Randy Canes, and more #DisgustingDecorations on this week's trending joke game!

Cartoons by
Michael Shaw, Thomas Wykes, Alan Rozanski, Mike Shiell.