Weekly Humorist Magazine: Issue 127

CONTENTS:

Weekly Humorist Magazine: Issue 127

Now That’s What I Call Christmas! 2020
by JULIANNE SIMITZ
Rudolph, The Disgraced Lawyer, All I Want For Christmas Are My Two Vaccines, Do You Fear What I Fear? And more!

Memo from the Office of the Vice Chancellor of the Lizard Overlord Project to the Costuming Department
by VINCE LICATA
And what is going on with Bill Barr’s facial unit? The unit in the field now has become the target of ridicule and given rise to unwelcome notoriety through slurs like “Resting Bill Barr Face” and “Attorney General Grumpy Cat”.

How to Have a Super-Traditional Hanukkah That Is in NO Way Like Christmas
by SARAH GARFINKEL and ALI SOLOMON
Night 6: The kids complained that the Hanukkah Bush is too small. Race around your backyard trying to find something larger--oh look! It’s the evergreen that’s been growing outside your den for the past three decades. Hack it down, prop it up in your bay window...

Upcoming 2020 Holiday TV Specials
by KIT LIVELY
The 3 Wisemen Meet The 4 Horsemen (CMT, Tuesday Dec 15, 3 AM)- Animated special from the creators of The Proud Boys Introductory Guide To Dental Hygiene, voiced by a bevy of your favorite wrestling stars, plus Tim Allen as the voice of a wisecracking baby Jesus.

The Dystopian Holiday Gift Catalog
by NOEL SPANGLER
Virtual Fam Holographic Family Projector- $575.99 : Our new holographic projector creates 3D simulations of various family members. We make sure to project each individual’s best qualities, while deleting the more troublesome parts of their personalities.

#SickSoapOperas
JOKE DEPT.
The Cold and the Beautiful, Snots Landing, Days of our Hives, and more #SickSoapOperas on this weeks trending joke game!

Cartoons by
DAN MISDEA, GRAYSON GIBBS, BOB ECKSTEIN,
AND PETER KUPER