Weekly Humorist Magazine: Issue 245
***UPDATED: Health Advisories for Outer-Space Visitors
by K.E. FLANN
The Intergalactic Council for Disease Control has issued new guidance for travel to Earth, relaxing some restrictions. Most travel illnesses on Earth are minor, such as thorax rash, overhydration, or motion sickness from TikTok.
What Your Coffee Table Book Says About You
by MADELINE GOETZ and MCKAYLEY GOURLEY
A Tattered Copy of How to Win Friends and Influence People
You rarely have company over, but you imagine elaborate scenarios in which you host dinner parties and your guests listen intently as you regurgitate the advice from this book.
by KIT LIVELY and PAUL LANDER
Visiting The Rock n’ Roll Hall Of Maim, 'Name That Tomb' with Casey Kasem, Jerry Garcia Seance- Gratefully Dead, Or Not So Much? and more in RottingStone Magazine!
Famous Hemingway Quotes in Context
by EMILY KLING
"There is no friend as loyal as a book. And there is no book as loyal as a friend. Wait. That doesn’t make sense. Barkeep, another round!” — Ernest Hemingway
by BOBBIE ARMSTRONG
How long should I take ColonBroom? The feeling when I poop is nothing but the purest form of euphoria and triumph. Like Moses parting the Red Sea and leading his people out of Egypt.
by WEEKLY HUMORIST HASHTAG GAMES
Scabbage, Dead Crumbs, Creature from the Black Legume, and more #GhoulishGroceries on this week's trending joke game!
Bob Eckstein, Peter Kuper, Rachel Deutsch