Weekly Humorist Magazine: Issue 259

Contents

Issue 259

‘So Your Fiancée Woke Up with a Pumpkin Head, Now What?’
by TIM CAHILL
Food is going to be a problem because your lover has no way of eating it - she just has three goofy teeth and no jaw motion whatsoever.

OnlyFansgoria
by KIT LIVELY and PAUL LANDER
Frankenstein's Monster Exclusive Pantsless Twitch is Shocking! Plus, Best BBW- The Blob, Best Hot Body Waxing: The Werewolf, Best Who Definitely Love To Swallow- Zombies. Check out the best creators on the platform in OnlyFansgoria today!

Spooky High is Closing
by BRIAN BOONE
This state of affairs is indicative of the eroding support and respect for education in this country, as well as demonstrating that people are just as afraid of monsters as they’ve always been, despite the increased popularity of zombie-, vampire-, and monster-based entertainment.

Don’t Say You Worship Satan If It’s Only on Halloween
by JAMES MARINO
Also, what are you wearing? Which part of “black robe” was too complicated? Did you really walk into our lightless abode of the damned dressed as Hellboy? And don’t even get me started with the slutty witch costumes.

Spoiled: A Visual Diary of Compromised Groceries
by GABRIEL THIBODEAU
In our current apocalypse, I can’t afford to throw out anything unnecessarily. After all, groceries are gold, and we will soon be forced to use soft cheeses and gluten free English muffins to barter with Bezo-Muskians for safe passage off Earth! Is it spoiled?

#MoneyAMonster
by WEEKLY HUMORIST HASHTAG GAMES
Creature From The Bank Lagoon, Michael Buyers, Accountant Dracula, and more #MoneyAMonster on this week's trending joke game!

Cartoons by
Nick Downes, Rich Sparks, Dan Misdea