Weekly Humorist Magazine: Issue 264
Wine List For The Apocalypse, Courtesy Of Your Olive Garden Sommelier
by WARREN BENEDETTO
Let’s start with our splendid assortment of reds. First, we have our Merlot: soft and medium-bodied, with dark fruit flavors and the smoky undertones of a scorched planet littered with human carrion.
We at the Bob Committee Are Here to Diversify Your Company
by EMILY MENEZ
It’s a challenge we at the Bob Committee know well. From Bob I. to Bob C. back to Bob I., we are here to help diversify your company with white men over 60 named Bob.
What I Assume the Ancient Romans Did for Exercise
by MCKAYLEY GOURLEY and KEVIN BURKE
In general, fighting to the death was a great way to stay in shape. Not dying was so good for your mental and emotional health. Almost dying was very bad. You walk a thin line with death-fighting. But that’s why recovery was invented!
So You Want to Date a Teddy Bear: Ranking Teddy Bears by their Sensibility, Dependability, and F#ckability
by TORREY KURTZNER
Pooh is a thiccc ass bear with plenty of cushion for the pushin’. Though a giving partner, he’s not without his kinks, such as a preference to use honey as a substitute for over-the-counter lubrication.
NEWS BRIEFS: Dad Accidentally Streaks Slumber Party
by KIT LIVELY
Weekly Humorist News Briefs: Breaking News, Into Little Pieces.
by WEEKLY HUMORIST HASHTAG GAMES
Jennifer Love Dew-it, Jean Claude Van Damp, Judith Drenched, and more #SteamyCelebs on this week's trending joke game!
GRANT MCALOON, Peter Kuper, Nina Semczuk.