Weekly Humorist Magazine: Issue 268

CONTENTS
Issue 268

Clairvoyant Trump’s 2023 Predictions
by KIT LIVELY
My collection of Trump NFTs will become so popular that they will be traded as the new dominant form of US currency. And more!

Our Gym Would Like to Apologize for Yesterday’s “Train Like A Viking Of Skagafjörður” Workout
by MAX MITRANI
In an anonymous survey sent earlier today, more than one member mentioned the class caused “explosive head trauma,”“neverending nightmares,” and “plantar fasciitis.”

10 New Year’s Resolutions Jason Definitely Wants Me to Keep This Year
by KELLEY GREENE and VIKTORIA SHULEVICH
I will sign up for an advanced crochet class to keep my hands busy during Jason’s softball practice (which is every Tuesday and Thursday). I will not let my past failures to become Jason’s girlfriend define me. And more!

Only ‘90s Kids Will Remember All These Great Catchphrases from the Best Jim Carrey Movies
by BRIAN BOONE
“Talk about a series of unfortunate events…in my pants!” A Series of Unfortunate Events, "Does this cable smell like farts to you?" The Cable Guy, “I didn’t fart, JK LOL I did!” Liar Liar, and more!

God’s New Year’s Resolutions
by LUKE STRATHMANN and ALIDA ZIMMERMAN
Finally Fill In Grand Canyon, New Rule That Not All Dogs Go To Heaven, Find Therapist That Doesn't Accuse You Of God Complex, and more!

Top Ten Top Ten Numbers of 2022
by PAUL LANDER
Tough choices this year, so many deserving but only so many spots!

#2022in4words
by WEEKLY HUMORIST HASHTAG GAMES
Staying’ Alive, Staying’ Alive, Supreme Court Vs America, I want a refund, and more #2022in4words on this week's trending joke game!

Cartoons by
Rich Sparks, Michael Litwak, Patrick Hickey