Weekly Humorist Magazine: Issue 314
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CONTENTS
Issue 314
Frequently Asked Questions Regarding Your New Clone
by LANCE HANSEN
My wife and the clone are certainly hitting it off. Which is good… right?
Interview With This Year’s Presidentially Pardoned Turkey
by KIT LIVELY
Really difficult to believe that I've been pardoned, all things considered. But as I said, I am grateful. Especially after causing all that damage on Jan 6th...
If You Hire Me to Be Your Social Media Manager, I Guarantee I Will Decrease Your Online Presence
by BOBBIE ARMSTRONG
For guaranteed results, I use the SLOP method. SLOP isn’t an acronym. SLOP is a meticulously researched and scientifically-backed social media strategy that involves me posting pictures of SLOP to your social feeds every 15 minutes for 30 days.
Literary Classics Reimagined for Flu Season by My Inner Sophomore
by TOM NAVRATIL
Moby-Drip, The Scratcher in the Eye, Breakfast at Sniffany’s, And more!
We Regret to Inform You That Your Son Has Been Waitlisted for Preschooler Gymnastics
by NICOLE BOYCE
Thankfully, we are able to offer you space on our waitlist, which is only 180-children long. If a space opens up, and those 180 other children decline, and no one else piques our interest in the meantime, your son will be our first choice.
#IcySciFi
by WEEKLY HUMORIST HASHTAG GAMES
2001: A Space Heater Odyssey, Fahrenheit -451, Ready Polar One, and more #IcySciFi on this week's trending joke game!
Cartoons by
J. Vincent Hilger, Chris Gural, Vaughan Tomlinson, Bob Eckstein.
Issue 314
Frequently Asked Questions Regarding Your New Clone
by LANCE HANSEN
My wife and the clone are certainly hitting it off. Which is good… right?
Interview With This Year’s Presidentially Pardoned Turkey
by KIT LIVELY
Really difficult to believe that I've been pardoned, all things considered. But as I said, I am grateful. Especially after causing all that damage on Jan 6th...
If You Hire Me to Be Your Social Media Manager, I Guarantee I Will Decrease Your Online Presence
by BOBBIE ARMSTRONG
For guaranteed results, I use the SLOP method. SLOP isn’t an acronym. SLOP is a meticulously researched and scientifically-backed social media strategy that involves me posting pictures of SLOP to your social feeds every 15 minutes for 30 days.
Literary Classics Reimagined for Flu Season by My Inner Sophomore
by TOM NAVRATIL
Moby-Drip, The Scratcher in the Eye, Breakfast at Sniffany’s, And more!
We Regret to Inform You That Your Son Has Been Waitlisted for Preschooler Gymnastics
by NICOLE BOYCE
Thankfully, we are able to offer you space on our waitlist, which is only 180-children long. If a space opens up, and those 180 other children decline, and no one else piques our interest in the meantime, your son will be our first choice.
#IcySciFi
by WEEKLY HUMORIST HASHTAG GAMES
2001: A Space Heater Odyssey, Fahrenheit -451, Ready Polar One, and more #IcySciFi on this week's trending joke game!
Cartoons by
J. Vincent Hilger, Chris Gural, Vaughan Tomlinson, Bob Eckstein.