Weekly Humorist Magazine: Issue 330
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CONTENTS
Issue 330
I’m Katie Britt’s Kitchen Table, and Let Me Tell You – This Bitch Is Crazy
by EMILY FLAKE
Well, well, well, it seems I’ve finally gotten my 17ish minutes of fame, hovering juuuust at the bottom of the frame while ol’ Mama Bear vocal-fried up a hot platter of American Carnage Lite for the public.
We Are Women Fetuses, and We Are Pro-Choice
by GRAYSON GIACONIA and JENNIE YOUNG
As a unified coalition of unborn women who possess all the rights of legal personhood, we stand together to advocate for the reproductive freedom of our already-born sisters, whose legal rights are not as protected as our own.
This New York City Apartment Is Perfect. The Only Drawback Is the Coat Closet That’s a Direct Portal to the Ninth Circle of Hell
by BOBBIE ARMSTRONG
Tom is a spirit with bat wings and a tail, condemned to a cell that just so happens to be 12-stories directly below this Park Slope apartment’s coat closet. Tom is eternally on fire. He is also the love of my life.
MAGAts- Your Guide To Trump Loving Right Wing Extremists
by KIT LIVELY
Tessie Tickles: Host of the right wing podcast Tessie Gets Messy, which is less a talk show than a series of racist and /or homophobic diatribes. So kind of like FOX News if it were broadcast from the poorly lit back porch of a lime green trailer.
A Resume and Cover Letter for a Seat Filler at the Oscars
by EMILY KAPP and DANIEL STILLMAN
When I came upon the role of Seat Filler at your company, I was immediately intrigued. Ever since I was a child, I knew that Seat Filling was what I wanted to do with my life. Growing up, every chance I got to sit, I did. Before I could even walk, I was sitting.
Here Are The Oscar Favorites. No, Not Those — Our Favorite People Named Oscar
by MIKE RANGE
PROJECTED WINNER… Oscar Mayer! This by virtue of being the only nominee to own a wiener-shaped car. (Before you fire off your angry rebuttals, Oscar Wilde merely leased one for six months in 1894).
Here Are The Oscar Favorites. No, Not Those — Our Why Nikki Haley Is Only “Suspending” Her Campaign for President
by JOHN ZAKOUR
She has 91 less criminal charges than Trump does. If by some miracle one of them actually lands him in jail she might then become the front runner. And more!
#PsychoSciFiMovies
by WEEKLY HUMORIST HASHTAG GAMES
Prison Wall-E, Slash Gordon, The Day the Earth Stood-offish, and more #PsychoSciFiMovies on this week's trending joke game!
Cartoons by
Joe Goldstein, Sarah Morrissette, Michael Shaw.
Issue 330
I’m Katie Britt’s Kitchen Table, and Let Me Tell You – This Bitch Is Crazy
by EMILY FLAKE
Well, well, well, it seems I’ve finally gotten my 17ish minutes of fame, hovering juuuust at the bottom of the frame while ol’ Mama Bear vocal-fried up a hot platter of American Carnage Lite for the public.
We Are Women Fetuses, and We Are Pro-Choice
by GRAYSON GIACONIA and JENNIE YOUNG
As a unified coalition of unborn women who possess all the rights of legal personhood, we stand together to advocate for the reproductive freedom of our already-born sisters, whose legal rights are not as protected as our own.
This New York City Apartment Is Perfect. The Only Drawback Is the Coat Closet That’s a Direct Portal to the Ninth Circle of Hell
by BOBBIE ARMSTRONG
Tom is a spirit with bat wings and a tail, condemned to a cell that just so happens to be 12-stories directly below this Park Slope apartment’s coat closet. Tom is eternally on fire. He is also the love of my life.
MAGAts- Your Guide To Trump Loving Right Wing Extremists
by KIT LIVELY
Tessie Tickles: Host of the right wing podcast Tessie Gets Messy, which is less a talk show than a series of racist and /or homophobic diatribes. So kind of like FOX News if it were broadcast from the poorly lit back porch of a lime green trailer.
A Resume and Cover Letter for a Seat Filler at the Oscars
by EMILY KAPP and DANIEL STILLMAN
When I came upon the role of Seat Filler at your company, I was immediately intrigued. Ever since I was a child, I knew that Seat Filling was what I wanted to do with my life. Growing up, every chance I got to sit, I did. Before I could even walk, I was sitting.
Here Are The Oscar Favorites. No, Not Those — Our Favorite People Named Oscar
by MIKE RANGE
PROJECTED WINNER… Oscar Mayer! This by virtue of being the only nominee to own a wiener-shaped car. (Before you fire off your angry rebuttals, Oscar Wilde merely leased one for six months in 1894).
Here Are The Oscar Favorites. No, Not Those — Our Why Nikki Haley Is Only “Suspending” Her Campaign for President
by JOHN ZAKOUR
She has 91 less criminal charges than Trump does. If by some miracle one of them actually lands him in jail she might then become the front runner. And more!
#PsychoSciFiMovies
by WEEKLY HUMORIST HASHTAG GAMES
Prison Wall-E, Slash Gordon, The Day the Earth Stood-offish, and more #PsychoSciFiMovies on this week's trending joke game!
Cartoons by
Joe Goldstein, Sarah Morrissette, Michael Shaw.