Weekly Humorist Magazine: Issue 333

CONTENTS
Issue 333

Conversations Between a Woman and the Dog She’s Unknowingly Dating on ‘Love Is Blind’       
by KATY MAIOLATESI
KELSIE R.: Babe! OMG that is so great you feel the same way! I’ve had no luck in the past and 100% of the guys I’ve dated have cheated on me. But you get me, and I know just by talking to you that you’d never stray. I’m getting loyal vibes! Maverick, I think–no I know–I’m falling in love with you. And you don’t have to say it back. I know it’s soon. [MAVERICK lifts his leg and pees in a plant.] 

AITA for Creating a Universe Without Any Proof of My Existence and Then Punishing People for All Eternity if They Don’t Believe In Me?
by PANIO GIANOPOULOS
My son (32M) and I have been arguing about this for ages. He says it’s unfair of me to require total unwavering belief without offering the slightest shred of evidence that I exist.  

News Briefs: Employees Of Weed Shop Keep Forgetting To Charge Customers 
by KIT LIVELY, DON HOLLEY, and WEEKLY HUMORIST NEWS BRIEFS
PLUS: Shower Head Feels Weird About Relationship With Female Owner, Man Hides Liquor Bottle In Same Place He Used To Hide Ex-Wife's Christmas Presents, and  Laptop Computer Not Crazy About Sitting On Man's Crotch During Late Night Porno Surfing. Weekly Humorist News Briefs, Breaking News, Into Little Pieces.            

Inside Sedition and 8 Other Potential Ronna McDaniel’s Fox News Shows   
by PAUL LANDER
Inside Sedition, Fox and No Friends, Big Steal or No Big Steal, and more!  

How to Do the Monkey Bars as an Adult
by BOBBIE ARMSTRONG
In adulthood, the monkey bars become a rare and mythical concept. Like a unicorn, or a pickleback shot you don’t immediately regret. But if you’re like me, you’re either looking to recapture a shred of your childlike innocence, or you’re seeking revenge against Amelia, who beat you in the monkey bars contest in 3rd grade. Here are a few things you should consider.      

Everything I Remember
by JONATHAN ZELLER
As I handle mementos around my house, they bring up recollections from many years ago. The movie-ticket stub that I found and fished out of a public garbage can. The program from a play that I found and fished out of a public garbage can. The public garbage can that I carried home in case anything else interesting was in there. Now I use it to store my mementos.

#FartyFish
by WEEKLY HUMORIST HASHTAG GAMES
Northern Red Crapper, Halibutt, Barratoota, and more #FartyFish on this week's trending joke game!

Cartoons by
Kyle Bravo, Vaughan Tomlinson, Chris Shorten, Sarah Morrissette.