Weekly Humorist Magazine: Issue 350

CONTENTS
Issue 350

SNL Should Bring Back That Cast Member from 15 Years Ago to Play a Current Public Figure       
by ADAM CAMPBELL-SCHMITT
I’m sure that person is totally available, and would love to drop everything they’re doing to fly across the country/globe from wherever their current project is filming and give up the majority of their weekends from October through May to appear in an SNL cold open.

Script for Upcoming Democracy’s “Going out of Business” Sale  
by RICH TAYLOR
Visual: A shapely, attractive actress dressed as Lady Justice has been listening from her perch outside the court. There is a loud clatter as she drops her scales and removes her blindfold Lady Justice: Heck, even I can see what an incredible sale this will be! All: (incredulously) Lady Justice! (hearty laughter) 

15 Important Lessons for Comic Convention Goers 
Don’t bother entering any costume contests. They’re all rigged anyway. Never cut in line. Your fellow nerds will pouch on you like a limited-edition comic book! Please use deodorant!            

“My Father Is A Good Man…But He Is Unfit To Lead,” by a 7-Year-Old
by CRAIG THOMAS
Look, we all love my dad. But this is not the my dad of 3 years ago, who chased that family of mice out of our grill, saving the 4th of July barbecue.      

I Am a Raymour & Flanigan Couch, and I Did Not Have Sexual Relations With That Man
by BOBBIE ARMSTRONG
I am not here to dig up the past or uncover old wounds. Relationships don’t always work out, and it was for the best that Mr. Vance and I went our separate ways.       

#PukeAPolitician
by WEEKLY HUMORIST HASHTAG GAMES
Nikki Hurley, Ba-yack Obama, Upchuck Schumer , and more #PukeAPolitician on this week's trending hashtag game!

Cartoons by
Sarah Morrissette, Michael Shaw, Mat Greaves, Bob Eckstein.