Weekly Humorist Magazine: Issue 375

J.D. Vance’s Inauguration Day Schedule        
by Meg Reid
10:15am: Show up early to inauguration venue and realize he forgot ID. Go back to get it because no one recognizes him.  

Boeing’s Quality Control Team Meets to Discuss Safety and Bird Attacks   
by Ryan David
BOB: Take a seat, team. Liz is right. We have to go into damage-control mode and get to the bottom of this crash. But we need to ask the right questions. LIZ: How could this happen? BOB: Wrong question. CARTER: Who’s responsible? BOB: Even more wrong. WILLIAM: Who can we blame? BOB: Bingo.

Brand New Sexual Bases For The Age Of OnlyFans
by Kit Lively
10th Base:  Teaching your crab lice to make their own OnlyFans account to help pay for groceries and other household expenses. 

A Letter to My Younger Self of a Few Weeks Ago About Our New Year’s Resolutions
by Angus Duffin
I applaud your plan to “Eat healthier – no more triple bacon burgers with loaded fries and extra thick thickshakes at 2 am.” But it’s not my fault you packaged and labeled all the Christmas leftovers for each day until February.   

#RudeRomComs
by WEEKLY HUMORIST HASHTAG GAMES
Runaway Snide, (500) Days of Bummer, Reality Spites, and more #RudeRomComs on this week's trending joke game!

Cartoons by
Nathan Cooper, Andy Anderson & Rusty Ruble, Chris Shorten, Nick Downes.