Weekly Humorist Magazine: Issue 370

CONTENTS
Issue 370

Christmas Songs For Spinsters        
by Meg Reid
O Horny Night, You're a Mean One, Mr. Hinge, Sad Old Broad is Coming to Town, I Want a Hypnotherapist For Christmas, and many more!  

How the Grinch Robbed Nakotomi Plaza   
by Dan Fiorella
Every Who down in Who-ville liked Christmas a lot. But the Grinch, who used to work for Nakotomi Corporation, DID NOT! 

House Resolution: Renaming Donald Trump’s “Transition” Team to Reflect That He Is Biologically President
by K.E. Flann
A “Biological President” is naturally “male,” meaning an individual who has, had, or would have, but for a historical polo accident, the reproductive system that at some point produces, transports, and ejects sperm for exclusively male purposes, such as fertilization or so-called “sexual assault,” which is defined as the legal and victim-less playboy antics of a rogue, rake, or rapscallion. 

It’s Time to Get Hard
by Kara Panzer
I needed to find one of these wise gurus who is a leader in anti-softness like Bill Maher so I could tell him in person (the best way) about what I learned on this journey (so much).  

Lesser Known Facts About House Speaker Mike Johnson
by Kit Lively
Truly believes that God sent Donald Trump to lead America, and yet still chooses to be a Christian anyway. 

#CarnalCarols
by WEEKLY HUMORIST HASHTAG GAMES
12 Lays of Christmas, We Threesome Kings, Jingle balls, and more #CarnalCarols on this week's trending joke game!

Cartoons by
Rich Sparks, Kyle Bravo, Todd Condron, Steve Daugherty.